An Octopus in the Server Room
by C4bl3Fl4m3
Summary: When I bring Ramos!Ock to work with me, he has a tendency to get in the way of things. This little humorous one shot is about my attempts to get him to stay out of our way. First published on dA on 4.18.05.


My phone rings. I look at the display.  
6073.  
Wait... that's the server room. Why is someone calling me from the server room? Anyone who would be back there has superior knowledge to my own.  
I pick up the phone. "Yeah, Matt?" I answer, knowing that Matt's the only one left here from the IT department (other than myself) today.  
"Yeah, if you could come back here, that would be great. We seem to have a bit of a problem. I'm tired of stepping over the Octopus on the floor, and he doesn't seem to listen to me"  
Octopus on the floor...? Wha?  
"Ok... I'll be back in a second"  
I sigh, walk out of my office, through the next door to my boss's office, and punch the key to get into the server room.  
I open the door, and walk inside. It's a narrow and long room, barely 5 1/4 feet wide, but around 25 to 30 feet long. It has various server racks in it, taking up space, and various other piece of random junk around.  
I see Matt, tall and lanky (except for a bit of a gut, earned in recent years, I bet), standing at the far server, most likely working on one of the Citrix servers (because he's the Citrix guru). Matt's my office mate (and a bit of a mentor), and he's more zany than I am (which is saying something). He turns and looks at me, and says "See what I mean"  
About 5 feet closer to me, propped sitting up against the left wall, is Otto. He has a half amused, half not-amused, and rather sleepy look on his face. His black hair hangs limply around his shoulders, and his hands are sloppily folded in his lap. His legs are stuck out into the small walking space, and his tentacles are spread out on either side of him, completely obscuring the aisle.  
I snort an amused snort and note "It seems you've woken the Octopus from his nap"  
Ock looks at me, still not amused.  
"Come on Otto, you gotta get up. You're in the way. We gotta get to the servers and everyone's tired of stepping over you. If you wanted to sleep, you could have stayed at home and slept in the bed"  
Ock grumbles something incoherently.  
I get more insistent. "Come on, Otto, get up. We need to get to the servers. Come to think of it, you're not even supposed to be back here. Hey! Wait! How DID you get back here? I know that none of us let you in, and it's not like you're small enough to just slip in behind one of us. Besides, we'd notice you when we went to leave"  
Now it's Otto's turn to be amused. "What? You don't think that I don't know how to shoulder surf? You might want to talk to your boss about changing the code on that keypad. It's too easy"  
I look at him, not amused. "Ya know, if you're going to abuse my trust, you're not going to be allowed to come to work with me anymore. Now GET UP"  
He doesn't budge. One bit.  
Obviously, he doesn't take me seriously.  
I sigh an exhasperated sigh.  
"Fine. Do you want me to bribe you? Ok. Fine. I'll bribe you. I learned long ago that the way to an Octopus's heart is through his stomach. Ok... if you get up, I'll get you a bag of Oreos"  
This seems to pique his interest a little. "Hmm... I do like Oreos... Nah. I'd rather sleep"  
"Ok, fine." I can't believe I'm bargaining with him. This is MY office, not his. God, why does he have to act like such a CHILD sometimes? "Fine. How about a bag of Oreos and a pint of Ben & Jerry's"  
"New York Super Fudge Chunk"  
"Whatever flavor you want, hon. Now will you move?", I say with exhasperation in my voice.  
"Hmm... throw in a bottle of tequila, and you've got yourself a deal"  
"Tequila? You don't even drink!" I exclaim.  
He grins. "No time like the present to get started"  
I sigh. "Oh, fine. Here... let's see... tequila runs about, what, $10? Add on the price of B&J, that's $14 and I have no idea how much Oreos are, but they can't be more than $3 or $4." I rummage through my wallet, which is actually the cover to my Palm Pilot that has a billfold type thing build into it. "Here. Here's a 20. Now, get up!" I reach down, grab his hand, and pull on it, trying to get him to get up.  
He doesn't move. "Wait. $10 tequila? That's swill! I want the decent stuff. Add another 20 on there"  
"Curse you, Otto!" I exclaim, using one of his phrases as I hand him another $20 bill.  
He grins and uses his tentacles to push himself up. "Ok, I'll be on one of the spare computers if you need me"  
He walks out of the room. I hear the latch click shut as I look back at Matt. He just looks at me, blank eyes a bit wide.  
I sigh loudly, throw my hands up, roll my eyes, and half stomp out of the server room. 


End file.
